30 May 2017

I feel like writing. I don't know about what yet. I guess I'll find out as I write.

Yesterday went decently. Went to the national cemetery and walked around with my wife and daughters. Then went to my parents' house for a cookout. The whole family was there besides my youngest sister, who was ... somewhere else. Some other state, visiting her boyfriend and his parents. I know he's from Maine, but I don't know if that's where she went.

Today has been ok, so far. It's one of my daughters' birthday. So we went and watched the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie. Dead Men Tell No Tales. It was ok. I won't spoil anything here.

I've got an appointment with audiology in the morning. Going to be evaluated for hearing aids. A part of me wonders that if I could hear better, if I would be less anxious in crowds. On that note, I need to go to the DMV. My doctor filled out a paper allowing me to get handicapped something. I'm not sure if it's a hangar or plates. I don't need to use handicapped parking always, though. My knee only hurts bad enough to use the handicapped parking about two or three times a month.

I won't feel bad when I do have to use it, though. I generally park at least halfway down a parking lot at the store. It's been a habit for me for a long time. My sister once asked me why I did so. I responded with, "I have two good legs, and can walk. Some people aren't so lucky."

I'm in kind of a weird mood tonight. I'm not happy. But I'm not sad, anxious, or depressed either. Could be my meds. I took my Mirtazapine last night. Probably having an effect on me.

I've been thinking of this blog, and its purpose. While this blog is for me, with the attention that my last post received, I've realized that other people will likely be looking through it, too. And as I believe I said in my first post, maybe one day this will be a triumphant story of an overcomer.

I was speaking to someone on Skype. They said that the blog would be good for people trying to overcome things of their own. The reason is, you look at someone who overcame. And it's hard to relate to them. Because they're writing a book, or a motivational speech, or whatever; but they're writing it after the fact. They are writing what they went through from the perspective of someone on the other side.

This blog is different. It's being written in the moment. Not from someone who has overcome. But from someone who is living it. Someone who is going through it right now.

So, when someone is going through something, and they read my blog, they'll see the pain and suffering as I live it. Not as I lived it before.

The biggest problem I have with a blog though, is that people will land on the last post if they visit the site. I wish they could be immediately directed to the first post, to read through and see the changes as they happen. It's kind of like my above rant. If they see only the last post, they might think the whole thing is written from the perspective of however I am in that post.

Well. I think I'm done rambling. I have another thing to talk about, but it'll likely be a whole post on its own. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe five minutes from now. Who knows.

 - Sapper Woody