This post is coming in on the heels of my very first post. I just recently got off the phone with the veteran's crisis hotline. Talked to a nice woman. Shaundra, I think her name was. If not, that's what I'm calling her now. It was something close at any rate.
The veteran's crisis hotline uses the same phone number as the suicide hotline, but when you get on there, there is a button to press if you are a veteran or calling about a veteran. Only my wife knows this until this blog post is read, but I call the veteran's crisis hotline about two times a month. I wear a bracelet on my right wrist at all times that has the hotline number printed on it.
I called the hotline because I needed to talk to someone, and it was 2 AM. I was on my way home from building a robot at the University of Arkansas at Little Rock for an upcoming competition we're having. We're leaving in less than twelve hours from now.
I called because I'm unsure of what my future holds. I am stressed about the direction my schooling is going. Right now I am a dual major in Physics and Math, with a minor in Secondary Education. Problem is, I don't think that I can do it. I can barely make my own classes, much less teach day in and day out.
I'm thinking of dropping my two teaching classes that I am taking this semester. I'm taking more than a full course load at 20 hours this semester. In addition to my two teaching classes, I'm taking Physics I with the associated lab, Calculus III, Linear Algebra, and Composition II.
I'm contemplating dropping my teaching minor altogether, actually. At this point, I am sure that I won't be able to teach, as most high schools won't keep a teacher around who is frequently absent; even if it is due to combat related mental issues. So, I'm thinking of dropping that minor, and leaving those hours open to my majors and possibly some electives.
I like music. Maybe I'll take a music course. I heard tonight that you can actually make some money by taking band, and playing in recitals. I play the piano; not good enough to play concerts, though. I play the Baritone. I could possibly play that in band. I am also a tenor, and could sing in a choir. I may try out for one of those next semester.
I did find out that Calculus III is the highest math needed in order to apply as a college math tutor at UALR, working in what they call the Math Lab. I'd like that. I could help people with their math, make money, and work and go to school at the same place.
Speaking of school, I have to leave my house in about an hour to make it to my first class. I've been up all night. I stayed up so late, that I knew that if I slept, I wouldn't wake up in time for class. I have some mild insomnia. And by mild, I mean that it is severe when it hits, but it doesn't hit too often. The longest I've ever stayed up unable to sleep was roughly 78 hours. At that point, I started to hallucinate. I was sure that I had played Kerbol Space Program for over an hour. I 'woke up' to find that it was five minutes later, and nothing I had thought I did in the game had been done.
Well, I'm out of time for this morning. I'm sure I'll rant some more later.
- Sapper Woody
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